Rapid Movie Review: Bird Box

"ImmoralMinority" (araimondo) 01/13/2019 at 09:42 • Filed to: None

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It was bad and dumb. I don’t care what it was “really about” because it wasn’t about anything. This is not a brilliant allegorical tale. It was a premise without a plot. It was like some stoned college freshmen were sitting around, “Dude, what if we all had to be blindfolded? Whoa.....” And nothing else.

There were a billion things that did not make sense, but the one that REALLY annoys me is who the fuck taught those kids how to swim well enough the little girl swam out of the current?

It was dumb and I did not like it 

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > ImmoralMinority 01/13/2019 at 09:50

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And it’s sparking a dumb real life meme/challenge.

https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/12/us/utah-birdbox-challenge-crash/index.html

Haven’t watched the movie yet but I heard it’s not good.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > ImmoralMinority 01/13/2019 at 09:52

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(edited to add spoilers ahead... no ready from here on if you want to watch it)

i watched it twice... (well... actually i watched it once.. in 2 sittings...i got bored halfway through)

and then once the feelgood from the ending wore off

a thought hit me

and that thought was hey.....everyone there is so dead... they just bought themselves a little time

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ImmoralMinority 01/13/2019 at 09:58

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The film was preposterous even from a sci-fi, fantasy perspective. And how and where did they go to spend five years raising those children? What did they eat and how did they forage it without seeing anything? Ridiculous. Absurd. Waste of time.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 01/13/2019 at 09:59

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Unless they were blind, which is what the author did in the book. Some survived by actually blinding themselves.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 01/13/2019 at 10:00

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Don't waste your time.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 01/13/2019 at 10:01

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no.. i mean they holed up in a well suplied school for the blind

wich is grand... till supplies run out

then what? ( im sure the book adresses this.... but the movie sure didnt)

InFierority Complex > ImmoralMinority 01/13/2019 at 10:18

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Waaitamin ute. Is bird box just a retelling of Day of the Triffids??!

Maxima Speed > ImmoralMinority 01/13/2019 at 10:20

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Wait im confused as I haven’t looked into anything  the movie at all. I thought it was about a blind woman and her students surviving an apocalypse?

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > ImmoralMinority 01/13/2019 at 10:23

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I think he hits the nail on the head. Also should check out a lot of his reviews - his delivery is great and pretty insightful. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 01/13/2019 at 10:29

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The movie was absurd.

My bird IS the word > ImmoralMinority 01/13/2019 at 10:45

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I agree. It went nowhere, despite some heavy religious implications. 

DipodomysDeserti > ImmoralMinority 01/13/2019 at 10:53

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I almost didn’t watch it because I never like anything Sandra Bullock is in, but I s aw John Malkovich was in it, so I gave it a shot...and wished I hadn’t.

Goggles Pizzano > ImmoralMinority 01/13/2019 at 13:47

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What did having the birds in the box really accomplish? THAT’S THE FUCKING TITLE OF THE MOVIE!

SHITE!